Adult friendships are different in this world of remote jobs and you really don’t bump into them that often. Adult friendships are also different from that of college friendships. Why? Because the patterns are different and you less overlap with your friends.
When you go through the phase when it’s a transition between college friendships and adult friendships, you often get depressed and sad. You feel like where my friends are gone. You start to feel alone and you sometimes blame your friends for your loneliness, sadness and depression. That feeling of loneliness is okay. Everyone is feeling that way. Everyone is sitting lazy on the couch and watching tv and not feeling like going outside.
Staying connected with your friends makes you feel young and happy. It’s difficult to stay connected to your friends when you’re an adult. Your friends live and work in different parts of the world and you don’t see them often. But you can still stay connected to them by calling them. We don’t talk to our friends but we talk about them. So, instead of talking about them, talk to them. Pick up your mobile right now and call your friend and talk to them.
Here are the three tips that you can apply to make and keep your adult friendships.
1. Frameworks
Use frameworks to keep your friendships. Try to be flexible with your friends. There are three types of friendship:
· Friendship for a reason: your work friends or neighbors
· Friendship for a season: your college or roommates
· Friendship for a lifetime: your 4am morning person
All of these friendships are just love and try to enjoy every phase of your friendship. Don’t force people. Please stop being mad at people for not being who you want them to be right now. Graciously let them go and grow. Let them be who they need and want to be in this season of their life.
2. Take action
Make an effort to make friends. You really can’t make friends by just sitting on your couch and calling random people to come and stay with you. Making friends when you are a student is different from making friends when you’re an adult.
Research from the University of Kansas shows that if you’re a student it takes 43 hours to become acquainted with somebody and if you are an adult it takes 94 hours to become acquainted with somebody. And to become close friends, it takes 57 hours for a student and 164 hours for an adult.
So, make an effort to make friends. Make an effort to stay connected with your friends. Make an effort to stay happy and positive.
3. Text a friend every day
Make it a habit to text a friend every single day. Every morning you wake up, pick up your phone and just leave a random message to a friend asking them about their life. You can send them your selfie or you can record a video message for them while you’re on a walk saying hello to them. Receiving an unexpected text from a friend makes you immediately connected to that person.
Try to compliment others on what they are wearing, about their hair, or nails or jewelry or anything. Just try to connect and talk to them. Try to Lighten up every single group chat with memes, or funny photos and it works wonders.
Good 😊