Befriend Yourself

I wonder if you know yourself; I mean really know who you are? And if so, are you friends with yourself? We may think we know ourselves but when it really comes down to it, this is likely a false belief. Another question to reflect on is, do your friends and family really know who you are?

We live our lives so often with a mask, presenting ourselves in a way that we hope is going to be accepted; that may be always appearing happy, not expressing too many negative emotions and appearing confident. In general, we typically strive to appear to be happy and successful individuals. As we’ve gotten older and begin forming our adult lives, we develop many relationships. We are relational beings and cannot exist without others, even if it’s the barista at the coffee shop. And because we don’t live in a cave isolated from other humans, we often find ourselves comparing where we are at; how successful (whatever success means to you in life) to our neighbor, coworker, sibling and just about everybody we encounter.

But is it worth it to be constantly working at projecting ourselves to appear a certain way? Wouldn’t it be better if we could just be who we are at all times, with all our “ugly” emotions? How freeing would that be? As I’ve become friends with myself over the years, I would attest to the relief I now feel. As I have come to accept myself and live in my skin, I am a big advocate for everyone getting to know oneself.

So, the practice of getting to know oneself begins with slowly building mindfulness into one’s day and life. It may involve sitting meditation but can also involve other ways of being mindful, just as while walking or eating. BUT ONE MUST JUST BEGIN. Like so much of this journey one must also offer love and compassion to oneself. The act of abandoning our wounded parts can be healed with love and compassion. And allowing ourselves to be present with all our different parts is an act of love.

This journey of getting to know ourselves is a wonderful way to befriend ourselves. Entering this journey with the intention of becoming friends with oneself is difficult, but isn’t living with these mask(s) just as hard? I will repeat the intention; to be kind and to get to know oneself, is very important. It’s a practice of self-compassion and kindness to oneself. Once one gets to know oneself better, it actually becomes less difficult and actually possibly could lead to joy and happiness.

No matter how difficult it gets, nobody is going to help you, nobody is going to be able to help you but yourself. Don’t bend your knees to satisfy society’s standards. Live your life because it’s yours.

So why wait?