If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story. “Orsan Welles”
When you’re telling a story, it’s important that you keep a sense of your ending in your mind. Afterall, we all eagerly wait for the ending of the story. You don’t need to know the exact ending before you write it, but you should have a sense of how it will feel to the reader. Happy? Sad? Mixed? The reason that the ending is so important is because it determines the meaning of everything that comes before.
In the words of Yogi Berra,
“It’s ain’t over until it’s over”.
Stop waiting for the fate to find you. Get out there and make your own destiny. Life isn’t about finding yourself; it’s about creating yourself.
I’ve always had mixed feelings about fate and destiny. On the one hand, it really is such a lovely idea, the thought that “Whatever should be, will be”. That someone or something out there is weaving the very fabric of our lives and that this benevolent force will somehow ensure that everything works out. On the other hand, though, I think that its too tempting to use the idea of destiny as a free license to just stand still. To use it as an avoidance tool. After all, if “whatever will be, will be” then we don’t really have to do anything to make it happen. It’ll just come to us, right?
Then, I realized-no, I accepted- that if I really want to live my dreams, I have to be the one to make them come true. I have to give up on the ideas of finding myself, the idea that somehow who I really am lurks somewhere out there. Instead, I need to look within and use my own two hands to create myself. That acceptance is what inspired me to write this blog, which will hopefully inspire you to go out there and make YOUR own destiny, too.
Today, I’ll talk about what it takes you write your own destiny and what I have learned form my life and creating my destiny.
Dare to dream. I think this is the single most important thing you can do when you et out to create yourself and make your own destiny. Without hopes and dreams, we’re basically just empty shells, going along to get along. So, ask yourself, “what do I want in this life? what would make me happy?” you don’t need all of the answers right now, and it’s totally okay if those dreams change later. Just dig deep and find something that you want to strive for. Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life — think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success.
Once you’ve found out what really you want, find courage to follow the dreams. If your biggest dream feels too far away and out of reach, go after the smallest steps to achieve that. once you make those small steps, you may just find that your biggest dream is a lot closer than you realized.
I love the second part of the quote below, “Life is a journey, not a competition”. Stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t look at their success as your failure. Be happy for them. They’re proof that we really can create our own destiny and make our dreams come true.
Don’t ever allow anyone to judge your path. They’ll try. Oh, believe me, they’ll try. We humans can’t seem to resist the urge to pick each other apart and analyze each other under the microscope. Decide now, though, that you won’t let their judgement hold you back from being who YOU want to be. Just keep writing your own story.
A life without joy really isn’t a life at all. So, make sure you’re the destiny that you create yourself includes lots and lots of laughter. Find things that make you happy and embrace them. Never, ever feel like you have to justify them, either. Never let anyone mock the things you like.
You’re going to make mistakes as you forge your destiny. Don’t run from them. Don’t be ashamed of them. Don’t sweep them away and hope that no one ever peeks under the rug. Own the. Acknowledge the. Accept the. Then use them to help you hoe yourself into the person you truly want to be.
A big part of creating myself, means focusing on the lesson and not the pain, the good and not the bad. It doesn’t mean that I ignore the things that go wrong or bottle up my emotions. It just means to try to remember that more often than not, things do actually go right.
Last, don’t wait for fate to throw a knight in shining armor (literally and metaphorically) into your life. Save yourself. Be the hero of your own story. You, my friend, are no damsel in distress. You are strong, powerful and brave. You are YOU ALONE have what it takes to make your own destiny and create yourself. Don’t EVER let anyone tell you or make you feel otherwise.
I think a small part of us will always cling to the idea that everything will fall into place one day, that we just have to give the universe time to catch up with our desires. It’s hard to let go of the beautiful and romantic idea that everything is already written in the stars. It’s harder still to allow ourselves to believe that we control our own destiny. That everything we are and everything we need to be who we want to be is right inside ourselves right now.
After all, if we can control it, that means we must control it. If it’s not out there for us to find, then we have to look within ourselves. Once you accept that and embrace it, though, there is absolutely nothing holding your back.
